Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 7:57 am Post subject: If only it were true
Press Release
Parliament today announced that the Office of Prime Minister of Great Britain will be outsourced to India as of 30th March 2007.
The move is being made to save the Prime Minister's £126,000 annual salary, his record breaking expenses and the related overheads his office has incurred during the last nine years.
Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the Office of Prime Minister as of 1st April 2007. Mr. Singh was born in Britain while his Indian parents were on holiday in Bristol, thus making him eligible for the position he will receive a salary of £250 a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.
It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff due to the time difference between Britain and India. He will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the British Government will be open. His wife is willing to support her husband without drawing expenses which will be a further six figure saving.
A Labour Party spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of Prime Minister, this should not be a problem because Blair was not familiar with the issues either.
Using canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. Tony Blair has used them successfully for years."
Tony Blair will receive health benefits, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment.
Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for £57.45 a week jobseekers allowance. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for income support, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.
Mr. Blair has been provided the outplacement services of "Manpower Inc." to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Blair may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience.
A "Greeter" position at Asda was suggested due to Blair's extensive experience shaking hands and his goofy smile. Unfortunately, Asda does not have a "Decider" position, job description available at this time.
Salesman for "The Big Issue" has also been considered and rejected due to his lack of the financial expertise required for this enterprise.
The worst thing Maggie did was pave the way for Tony Bliar!
The second worst was not pulling us out of the financially crippling ball & chain that is the EU. _________________ "Chicken, Chicken, Chicken, Chicka-chicka-chicka Doooooooooooooooo The Spring Chicken!"
Have to agree with Mad C on this one, 32 years ago we were conned into joining the Common Market, I voted against it then and am still against it now.
Sadly this deluded bunch of tossers commonly known as the Government are giving more of our powers away to a bunch of free loading faceless beauracrats in Brussels.
One day the revelution will come, power to the people _________________ The boy never gets older
[quote="mad cyril
Well fuck off to Europe then!!!![/quote]
I would but I have tio change my fucking money and the bloody facsist government charge me for the privilige bunch of cunts......I wanna go abroad and not be charged for changeing my notes thank you very much.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Join! (free) 
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
